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My Magical Shoes

So I have a pair of shoes that are magic. One of my college roommates used to tease me becuase I only owned like four pairs of shoes. I still don't have many pairs of shoes, but I have one very special pair that have been literally around the world with me.

When my partner Peter died two and a half years ago, I was no longer a church-going person and I work from home, so I didn't have proper clothes to wear for his funeral. My best friend at the time took me shopping and at DSW I saw a pair of shoes that drew me in like they had their own gravitational pull. They are wedge sandals that are almost retina scorchingly sparkly, and no photo of them can do the sparkles justice. It seemed vulgar to get such joyful shoes for a funeral, but when I saw them I knew they could be a symbol for the life I would build when I was done with the period of grieving that must be gone through. They were aspirational for the good new sparkly life I wanted to build for myself, where the good parts didn't necessarily happen because of a partner, but because I made them happen.

So I bought the shoes and a pink sweater with silver sparkles and a black pencil skirt and wore that to the funeral. I remember walking into the Jewish Temple trying to maintain dignity and self composure as best as I could. I remember sitting still as stone throughout the service while I held his mother's hand the whole time. It was so very hard and took every ounce of strength I had to be dignified and get through it. When it was done and I had visited everyone and received condolences, I walked out of that temple in those pretty shoes and they ceased being funeral shoes and started being new life shoes.

Those first few days and weeks and months were a blur of pain and grief, so I don't remember the first time I wore them to something fun and beautiful, but the first photo I have of myself wearing them is three months after he passed away, taking a mirror selfie in the gift shop of the Houston Museum of Fine Arts.

Since then I have worn them to concerts, trips, shows, fancy restaurants, events of all kinds, New Year's Eve in Tokyo, walking down night streets in Kyoto, parties, dates, weddings, all kinds of things. If those shoes could talk, they would have a lot of adventures to share. The last photo I took of the shoes was just a few days ago. They were laying by a fancy brass heating vent in a Victorian mansion in Salt Lake City where I was staying for my daughter's college graduation.

They are starting to get pretty worn out even though they are still just as sparkly. I am not sure how many more adventures they can handle, but they have been more places and done more things than I ever imagined when I bought them.

I used my shoes to teach me that if I want a beautiful life, I can have it. I don't have to wait until I make a certain amount of money, or until I have this partner or that partner, or until I reach some imagined success point in my life. Any day I want, I can put them on and go out and live fully.

Since I am an energy worker I do spend a lot of my time in spiritual pursuits, but for me, those are just tools to build the real, here and now life I want filled with beautiful things, beautiful people and beautiful experiences. The shoes remind me that all the spiritual stuff, all the healing stuff is so I can enjoy my life while I have it, and live it to the fullest.

For me healing means getting well enough to enjoy good food, listening to good music, enjoying good art, making my own art, having great sex, loving others in the myriad ways love manifests in our lives, resting, recharging, feeling all my feelings, making mistakes, doing better, learning, growing, having fun, and just living, living, living. I freaking love my new life. It feels like a miracle, even on the hard days. For some people symbols of healing are tarot cards, and crystals, moon water and medicine, and I have that stuff, too, but the big one for me is that pair of shoes.

I want to ask you now what healing is to you. What does that look like for you in your life? What kind of life would you be living to make you feel like your life was largely healed? We all have different personalities and life purposes so it will look and feel different for each one of you. What symbols do you have or could you have to help you create that healed life? Could you use that symbol today to move yourself forward even one step?

Healing can look like freedom, love, adventure, peace, community, introversion, faith, trust, hope, wealth, health, so many things. There are billions of people in this world and "well" means something unique to each person.

We can support each other on our journeys and learn from each other ways to be well, ways to be happy, ways to build full, fulfilling lives. I think about showing my best friend at the time the shoes at the shoe store and asking what she thought, if it was inappropriate to get them or not and her saying, "Do it! They are perfect!" then her finding a sparkly sweater for me to match them, to encourage me on my journey to build a good life going forward.

I have a vision with my healing practice that it can be a gathering place for people to heal together and connect with each other and find friends and people who are on a similar journey. A few months ago I started a membership program where I hold virtual meditations that are virtual get togethers where we talk and do healing and connect, and they are available several times a week for one monthly fee that is less than half the cost of a full energy work session. Click the button below to find out more.

I wish you the best of luck and love on your journey. I believe in you. I would love to be of support to you. I would love to see what you can create with your life one step at a time, one day at a time, one pair of magical shoes at a time.

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May 07

💕 Love this and love you!

Replying to

Thanks so much! I love you, too! Thanks for walking this journey with me!

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